


Five People Lu Han Met After Joining S.M.

by quicheand



Category: EXO (Band), K-pop, SHINee, SM Entertainment | SMTown, Super Junior, f(x)
Genre: 5 Things, 5 Times, Canon Compliant, Drabble, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-12
Updated: 2012-04-12
Packaged: 2018-05-18 03:12:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5895910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quicheand/pseuds/quicheand
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lu Han becomes acquainted with a few of the — interesting — characters who make up SMTown.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five People Lu Han Met After Joining S.M.

**Author's Note:**

> My first Exo fic!! Or, more accurately, Lu Han as an adorable baby-faced trainee fic. Inspired in equal parts by the all the awesome Exo fic that is already available and the hilarious nicknames people have been giving Lu Han. With bonus hints of Woohyun/Key and Amber/Sulli, because I cannot write fic without injecting a few of my favorite couples into it.

 

 

"Oh, you're so adorable!" coos Key, leaning in to peer closely at Lu Han's face. "You're just so cute!"

"Um," starts Lu Han. He has to think for a moment about how to phrase his thoughts in Korean, and comes up with, "I don't think you should call me cute. I'm older than you."

Key waves his concerns away. "So?" he says. "So is Nam Woohyun, but I call him cute all the time."

"Oh," says Lu Han. He means to say more, but before the necessary internal translation can take place, Key starts chattering again.

"Lu Han, Lu Han, what a cute name," he's saying. "'Lu' means deer in Chinese, right?"

"Oh," says Lu Han again, a little surprised that Key knows enough Chinese to make the connection. "Yeah," he says, nodding his confirmation.

"That is adorable," declares Key. He cups Lu Han's face in his hands—Lu Han jerks back, surprised, but Key is unperturbed.

"Dear deer," he says in English, exaggerating the curl of the final R. "That's what I'm going to call you from now on."

Lu Han blinks, and consults his (albeit rather limited) knowledge of the English language. "I'd really rather you didn't," he says, even though he's starting to get the feeling Key is not going to care.

He's pretty much right. "I like this nickname, though," Key says, pink lips pursing into a pout. He tilts his head, considering. "Well, if you don't like it, I'll give you a choice between that and Xiao Lu—little deer!" He adds the Korean translation at the end.

"Oh," says Lu Han, weakly. Xiao Lu is almost normal, but the way Key says it, with sparkles in his eyes and long fingers clasped adoringly under his chin, makes it somehow cloyingly sweet.

But in the end, it doesn't matter what Lu Han chooses; Key decides, all on his own, on a different name altogether, and thereafter refuses to refer to Lu Han as anything but "Lu Han, my dear little deer with the big doe eyes." Lu Han makes a point of pretending not to hear him, especially if anyone else is within earshot.

 

 

 

"Hi," says a voice in Chinese, and Lu Han turns to see the tallest, skinniest Chinese person—no, the tallest and skinniest person, period—he has ever laid eyes on. "I'm Zhou Mi," says the giant.

_I know_ , Lu Han doesn't say. "I'm Lu Han," he says instead.

Zhou Mi slings a friendly (and impossibly lanky) arm around Lu Han's shoulder. He has to stoop down to speak conspiratorially into Lu Han's ear. "Listen," he says, warm and soft, like sharing a friendly secret, "if you ever need anything, or anyone is giving you trouble, just tell me and I'll help you sort things out." He straightens up, gives Lu Han a heartening pat on the back. "People like us have to stick together!" he says with a sunny smile.

"Thanks," says Lu Han. "But I mean, there are three other Chinese boys in my group, so I'm pretty sure I'll be fine."

"Oh!" says Zhou Mi, then bursts into surprised laughter. "Right," he says, "but I was talking about—you know—" He trails off, gives Lu Han a meaningful look.

Which takes Lu Han a minute to get, but then he does.

"Oh!" Now it's his turn to be surprised. "I don't—that is—I'm not gay," he says.

"Right, right," says Zhou Mi conspiratorially. He holds a finger to his lips. "Got it," he says with a wink. With a final wave—more a waggle of his fingers—he turns and heads whistling down the hall.

"But I'm really not," says Lu Han to empty air, not, of course, that it makes a difference.

 

 

 

Sulli looks him over, inspecting with a critical eye, and then asks, quizzically, “Are we getting a new member?”

“Um,” says Lu Han. “I don't—“

“Oh your voice is so deep and smooth and lovely!” Sulli exclaims. “But I don't know; I mean, we already have Amber hyung, and her voice is lovely too.”

“Amber...hyung?” asks Lu Han, wondering if, somehow, he's been confused all along about Korean sibling relationships and gender roles.

“Oh, but don't worry,” says Sulli, rushing forward to reassure him. “Amber hyung is super cool, but you're definitely prettier. I'm sure you'll be great!”

Lu Han looks down at Sulli's hands, almost as small and delicate as his own, now clasped in hers. “I'm, uh,” he says. “Not actually joining f(x), I'm fairly sure.” He clears his throat, then adds, “And also, not a girl. I'm also fairly sure about that.”

Sulli looks terribly lost for a moment, and Lu Han wonders if maybe he shouldn't have said that. But he _isn't_ a girl, so it'd be wrong to keep letting Sulli think he was, right? Sulli drops his hands and pulls away, looking embarrassed.

“Oh my gosh,” she says, opening her eyes wide and covering her mouth with both hands. It is, Lu Han reflects offhandedly, quite cute. In a totally platonic, non-lusting-after-jailbait way.

“I'm sorry,” Sulli says. “But you're so pretty! And you totally have the f(x) look, so I thought...”

Lu Han shuffles his feet, feeling awkward. “it's okay,” he says. “People make that mistake all the time.”

Sulli laughs, all traces of embarrassment gone. “Of course! They would, wouldn't they? I mean, it's only natural, when you have a face like that!”

Lu Han blinks, feeling like he should maybe be slightly offended. But then he catches sight of his reflection in the window behind Sulli and thinks, no, he really can't blame her.

 

 

 

Heechul is rather infamous amongst the trainees, so Lu Han is feeling a little intimidated when he runs into him in the hallway one day, even before Heechul says anything. Lu Han bows and greets him politely, the way he's been taught. Heechul narrows his eyes at him, and Lu Han gulps.

“Who let this kid into the company?” Heechul asks, seemingly of no one in particular. “Haven't I said a million times that nobody here is to be prettier than me?”

It takes all of Lu Han's willpower not to turn tail and run back to China right then.

But then Heechul beams suddenly, and claps his hands together once. “I've decided!” he exclaims. “You're going to be my new protege!”

Lu Han blinks, not sure if he understood correctly. “Your...what?” he asks.

Heechul waves an impatient hand. “My protege!” he says. “You know—my trainee, my apprentice, my adopted Chinese child whom I will raise in the ways of the wise and all-knowing Kim Heechul!”

“Ah,” says Lu Han, after a beat. He isn't really sure how he feels about that, but he doesn't want to offend his sunbaenim, so he says humbly, “I would love to be your protege...apprentice...son...thing.”

“Of course!” says Heechul. He steps closer to Lu Han, lets one arm fall about his shoulders. “It's only the highest honor any self-respecting member of SM Entertainment could ever hope to receive,” he says in an imperious tone.

Lu Han tries to say something about the rumors of Heechul's never-ending modesty being true after all, but Heechul doesn't let him get a word in edgewise as he leads him down the hall, talking a mile a minute about his grand plans for Lu Han, interspersed with hair care tips.

 

 

He bumps into Lee Taemin the next day, quite literally.

“Oh!” he exclaims. “I'm so sorry!” He bows in apology, because even though Taemin is three years younger than him, he's still Lu Han's senior in the company.

“You're Lu Han,” says Taemin, matter-of-fact.

“Err,” says Lu Han. “Yes. Yes I am.”

“You stole my mentor,” says Taemin. Lu Han can't tell if he is widening his eyes from shock, resentment, or if his eyes really are just that big.

“I'm sorry?” he says.

“Heechul,” Taemin clarifies. “I'm his protege—or at least, I was until he told me yesterday he'd found someone else.”

“Oh,” says Lu Han. “I'm sorry.” He doesn't want to make any enemies, especially so soon after starting his traineeship, so he offers, “You can have him back, if you want? I can explain to him—I'm sure he'll understand...” He trails off as he realizes that actually, he is not at all sure Heechul will understand.

Luckily, it doesn't seem to matter, because Taemin, after a moment's consideration, says, “That's okay. I've decided I've been a protege for long enough anyway. “He straightens up, puffs out his chest importantly. “It's time for me to start training a protege of my own,” he says proudly.

“Good idea,” says Lu Han in what he hopes is an encouraging tone of voice. He thinks for a moment. “Just out of curiosity,” he says, “do you have anyone in mind?”

Taemin beams; Lu Han is slightly taken aback by the sunshine and naivete that suddenly seems to brighten the room.

“There's this one boy,” says Taemin. “His name is Kim Jongin. I'm going to train him to be tall and thin and have thick, luscious lips, just like me!”

Lu Han thinks back to the dark, somewhat twitchy kid he'd met the other day. “Isn't that kind of...how is he naturally?” he says.

“Oh.” Taemin deflates, and Lu Han instantly feels sorry. Then Taemin brightens again, eyes full of resolve.

“Then,” he says, in an imperious voice that would be like Heechul's if it weren't so guileless and full of youthful innocence, “I'll just have to teach him to dance instead.”

 

 


End file.
